Now I Know

I should have gone straight from him
To a psychiatric ward
If I had not heard your voice
Just as the elevator doors opened
(Remember how I came back and
Lost it- 100%- in that hotel room?)
I would have gone, like a dutiful
Grownup, to help with the packing
But if I had not heard your voice
I would have taken that bowl
While no one was watching me
Walked out into the sunshine
On the balcony
Thrown the glass til it shattered
In crystal splatters
And flipped my body over the rail
To lose life's cruel grip on me

Y'know...

I have 30 semester undergrad hours I dedicated to the study of literature. And I still can't remember what to call this kind of every-other-line-rhyming. (Besides "Hallmark card"-ish. Maybe that's good enough. Oh, but I do still intend to bother my professor of literature father for the answer tomorrow.) Poetry-wise, I'm at my best when I'm not so neat- not careful at all. I'm going to have a dirty martini and head on back to feeling my way...

heartsick

oh i am this woman
(trouble never understood)
mistook those broken timbers
for deep roots, planted wood

crisis of faith

brutal is the mercy
that splashes over me
seize me up from death
or never turn to see
no, let me sink
let me drown
into this black, cold water
i am now too hurt to fathom
why you called me daughter

John George Psychiatric Pavilion

music of all spheres
sparking off my mood
in this place of jailers
joking, loud & lewd
but i keep my face steady
and my steps straitlaced
(hiding fears of dreams)
in this Godforsaken place

Another Broken Rubaiyat (Hell's Memory)

you made me your wife
then you abandoned me
never did get to read
that last divorce decree

oh, but in your eyes...
i divorce you
i divorce you
i divorce you

now old age and grief
cover my bowed head
i can no longer see you
walking ten steps ahead